When I Didn’t Score A Single Goal, I Digged Up the Goal Posts And Pulled It Closer.

We make goals to make our eyes shine. If it happens, great! If it doesn’t, say ‘Oh, how fascinating’ – Benjamin Zander

Watch movies, pay visit to friends and family, travel the world, nurture the environment, use the social media, write the business plans, reach more people, and feed the world… I want to do all of these and more, so I feel overwhelmed!

I have loads of things I desire to achieve, but failed! The goals wouldn’t work.

Welcome to Think2Riches String 24

While I played as an amateur footballer, I used to wonder why it’s just so hard to score a single goal.

At a time, I asked, ‘why are these goal posts too far away?’ At another time, I submitted that the goalkeepers were too professional.

So, I gave up on playing football and decided to look for a solution to scoring goals in my personal life. Good to know, I found a few tips that worked amazingly.

I will share three major tips very quickly. Let’s set the ball rolling.

When your ‘goal posts’ are too far apart, consider trying out these 3 options

1. Do Nothing
   

What? Do nothing?

Yes please, give yourself a break. Relax, let go of all the goals for now. Hmm… this is one of the hard parts for me especially when I think of all the things I need to achieve.

But, hey, put your mind at rest. The idea of killing yourself over the future is detrimental. Learn to smell the roses. It is better you work with a peaceful mind than struggle with confused speed.

Every week I make sure I pay all the debts of my sleepless nights. It helps my creativity and energy to be refreshed.

What You Can Do Practically:

• Switch off completely from everything, sleep.
• Do nothing.

2. Dig up the posts and move it closer to each other

At the beginning of the year, with a beautiful pen and notepads, I scribble what I desire to achieve. It has become a habit in the last 3 years.

Then, each month, week and day, I slice the huge goal into bits and doable pieces. After each day, I mark and appreciate myself for a work well done.

In the last 8 months, though with 9 am to 5 pm work, I couldn’t believe I’d written up to 150 new creative posts in my archive and published up to 90 posts on various media platforms.

What You Can Do Practically:

• Get rid of distractions; put the phones away, focus for every 30 minutes for a start
• Keep the goals handy. Attach it to your phone’s wallpaper; write it on a sticky note on your desk or laptop.
• Read it often and move ahead, do it now. Don’t become a professional procrastinator.

3. Shoot the ball with more tenacity (by buying an extra leg)

When I was in high school, I’d a friend that played the football so well. I sometimes wished I could buy his leg, just to score some goals. It never happened!

In my personal goals, I decide to push myself beyond my comfort zone. Scoring goals takes practice and a lot of discipline. Professional footballers can write an essay on that.

If you can’t buy a second leg, buy some energy booster for the legs you have. Yeah, our mothers had to do extra work to clean our mess when we were babies.

Your life is your small baby, nourish it, be committed and get to work!

What you can do practically:

• Let your SMART goals be really Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound.
• Be in the company of people that achieve their goals.
• Rather than complain on how hard it is, get your hands dirty and invest in learning how things work.
• Alter your regular approach sometimes. Try out new things.

While I am on the journey of trying out more ways to get my goals into the net, tell me in the comment box;

What strategies have worked for you so far?

It’s Okay If You’ve Messed Up? Here Are 3 Simple Tips To Win Your Friend’s Trust Back.

Hold the vision, trust the process – Unknown

I have had a few mess up in my relationship with people, we all make one or two silly mistakes anyway.

Friends, welcome to string 23 of #think2riches.

The lives of babies are really interesting. I remember, as a little boy  when my dad throw me up, I will smile and giggle out loud without the fear of falling.

I trusted my dad’s heart, I believed his hands, I cling to the generous hope in his eyes, I freely fly as far as he would throw me. Good old days!

As we all grow older, we meet people outside of our immediate families, we develop relationship with people from another society and we tear open our lives to strangers that care to listen to us. We chat, we laugh on the phone, we smile when their names flash up in our dreams. Yes!

Then, in the middle of it all, something goes wrong, just a simple mistake!

We mistakenly miss a digit on the financial statement, we forgot our mothers’ birthday, we didn’t fulfill a promise and we miss our daughter’s graduation and so on.

Our crisis management skills suddenly disappear. The rosy moments we share with our loved ones immediately get lost in the deep waters of little wrongs, small foxes enter and our beautiful vine is thrashed.

Yeah! I have been there. One of my best friends said to me,

‘I trusted you, but I can’t stand seeing you, just leave me alone’

‘I put my entire secret into your hand, yet you stabbed me in the back’

‘I opened up my life to you, I loved you but you crushed my trust’

In times like this, what can you do to get back the trust of your friend? Let’s look into 3 simple things that can help us win back our relationship.

1. Acceptance

Immediate apology hasn’t helped so much. Simply accept that you are wrong. I tried all routes to explain and convince, non of the tricks clicked a strand of hair. No form of personal defense will safe your dirty face, not right now. Simply, be humble for once and swallow your pride.

Put your blades in its sheath and let the situation subside. Let the grains find root at the rock base. Allow your boss to vent his anger, give your sister the opportunity to really get mad at you. Let your friend release their rage

We all make mistakes, acknowledge this one.

2. Communication

I use the LLATA model here. It’s the Listen, Listen, Ask, Think and Act!

Again, you don’t need to preach to your friend or boss. Go to them when the volcanic eruption has calmed down, go and listen to them. Allow them to vent out all the anger a little more.

First step in real empathy is listening. For several centuries and even today, listening skill is an amazing strength for anyone that has it. Your friend will push you off; listen in to their emotions, to their words, to their silence, to their healing process.

Go ahead; ask them about all the wrong things they feel about your action. You don’t always need the third or fifth party to do this for you. Go back to your dear friend, ask and listen in!

Then, if they agree, design an action plan together. What do they feel you can do that they will be happy to support you for the trust to be built back? That is thinking together about how the healing process should go.

Then, action is the third tip. Read on.

3. Commitment

This is more crucial. The secret here is that you have to be consistent, comforting, and dependable to earn the trust again. Start out with baby noticeable steps. Here, a magic won’t turn things around. Don’t rush your friend into trusting you right away.

Patiently invest in the minute things. Try out meetup in a new place, try out new kinds of gifts (in words or as a substance) and try out new approach to conversations and so on.

Yes, this process might take a few more years to solidify. Stay committed to making it work. Relationship is everything!

Now, it’s your turn. How have you made your friends trust you again after a silly mistake? Which of these tips are you struggling with?

8 Basic Questions to Ask Yourself Everyday To Get Ahead In Your Personal Life.

Be curious. A good question can take you a lot farther than a quick answer. ~ JesseLynStoner

Just like babies, I cherish questions, even silly ones and it has helped me dramatically to learn better, listen better and communicate more effectively.

I have made 15 amazing friends from 6 countries this month learning to do this single thing. Hello friends, welcome to #think2riches string 22.

I will share 8 basic questions I ask everyday that helps me find faster solutions to any challenge.

1. Am I awake?

The mystery of sleep, as Jimi Tewe puts it, is that you don’t know you’ve slept until you are awake. I ask this question to know if I am still dreaming or in reality. I don’t want to spend all my life dreaming, but to start acting. I want to start the venture, do the exercise and send the gift rather than just wishful thinking.

2. What do I do?

I ask this question to be sure if I am on the right track in my career journey. I want to check if I am on the job just for the monetary gains, social prestige or to add value to other people’s lives.

3. Who am I hanging out with?

I met a friend, he is 30, he had struggled with smoking and drinking since 18, he said he magically stopped smoking when he changed his set of friends. With light sparks in his eyes, he said, ‘life is pretty beautiful in an wholesome company’

4. What is happening in my space?

I want to be conscious of my environment, I like to know why my colleague’s face is so dull today, why the people in my neighborhood chant all night. I like to know the social media and development trends. These help me to observe better, it informs my decisions and planning.

5. Why am I doing this?

At a time, I didn’t feel good spending a large chunk of my time chatting on the phone with friends and colleagues. I recently listed out 5 reasons why I now chat online meaningfully, it includes; to improve my communication, to put my numerous thoughts in short concise format, to polish my English language, to learn to type faster and accurately, to engage people intelligently and with empathy without seeing them face-to-face.

6. What can I do right now?

Actually, 7 is better than 3. This year I decided to write everyday and publish on facebook thrice a week. After 2 months, writing 7 days a week became a habit than when I wrote 3 days a week. It is easier to keep a habit than to struggle into the habit again.

When I have a lot of work to do, this question helps me to start now. I can call that friend or write that 5-line e-mail. I can trash the dustbin. I can get high smiling. Yippe! I can do it now.

7. What makes me angry?

I am not sure why I don’t get angry often, but once I do, it will have to do with an abnormally that people do to others. For example, destroying people’s work, imposing your idea on others, stopping others from exercising their abilities and gifts etc.

For these, I will go in a search for solutions, to engage, to research the underlining cause and effects, then act to put things right.

8. Am I adding any value to the universe?

In many parts of the world, waste human management is a major challenge; check the pages of most newspaper, sad stories welcome the readers every day.

I want to put out good words to my world, I want to lend a helping hand, I want to join the networks of visionaries and shakers working tirelessly to make the world a better place for all of us.

These are some of the basic questions that hold my hands to get ahead daily.

He who asks a question is a fool for a minute; he who does not remains a fool forever – Chinese Proverb

What questions do you ask yourself?

Go to the comment box and share what you struggle with daily and what you do to get ahead.

My Major Problem With Disabled People After 20 Years Of Experience

Caution: You may need to read this piece very slowly before you punch me in the nose. Thank you.Welcome to another edition of think2Riches, this is string 21.

Friends, you may not understand how hard it has been for me living with disabled people for more than 20 years now. You know, there are ugly part of our lives that is too difficult to share with the public.

Today, I feel that sharing one of such will bring solace and freedom; perhaps it can also help someone else struggling to keep moving.

‘Help me do this’, give me that’ can be so annoying many times. ‘Give me this, ‘help me do that’ have been one of such minor headaches for me.

‘Can’t these guys just try to do one thing by themselves, Eeh?’ Often, I ask this question in the silence of my heart so as not to offend these disabled folks.

Sincerely friends, for 2 decades+, I must say it’s been burdensome. From help me to switch on the fan, to help me cook some food, to open the door for me, to carry me on your back, to please help me bring my laptop; it’s been from one odd job to the other.

The irony is that, these disabled folks all have hands, legs, eyes, ears, heart, brain and you can add more to this list. My major problem with them is that they call some other people disabled.

My disabled folks ask for money and gifts too, they daily ask for help more than 15 times, they beg God for many things; they have ears but never listen, they have eyes, but stumble blindly…shhh…

Because some of them snore at midnight, so they label someone else as mute, they never admit that they are blind because they can clearly see from one continent to another city coast. They can hear distinct voices of 100 people at the same time, so they tag some people as deaf.

They have quickly forgotten that no man wakes up for the wrong reasons, neither can we display all our limitless abilities in just 1 minute nor in 10 years. There is too many ability in what we all call disability.

My problem with disabled people will disappear when we begin to engage everyman (teacher to student, Government to citizens, parents to children, employer to employee) with a focus on their asset, goodness, abilities rather than needs, problems and awkwardness.

Yes, we all have disabilities, but who builds on broken when there are beautiful gifts to build on?

After all, nobody writes “I am disabled” in their CV.

Read this insightful post by Lisa Egan, I’m Not A “Person With a Disabiity”: I’m a Disabled Person.

Ever heard of Hannah Cockroft?

Aren’t You Limitless?

Friend, jump into the comment box and scream how limitless you are…

4 Simple Things That Will Help You To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others.

“Avoid the comparison trap. There is no one on the planet quite like YOU!” – Kathleen Hassan

Hello and welcome to another edition of #Think2Riches. This is string 20.

Have you ever been caught up in those moments when you constantly compare yourself or work with someone else and their work?

For hours, you worry  and compare others’ jobs, relationship, family, make-up, speaking prowess, big muscles and so on with yours.

You know it’s a shoddy habit, but unconsciously it has become so easy for you to fall into the trap just like complaining.

So, how can you practically trade off this habit to get ahead in your personal life?

I will share 4 simple things I do to get hold of this habit and enjoy the best of everyday.

1. Evaluate yourself with yourself

This may sound very hard especially when you have some categories of people you refer to as your mate.

Hey, your mate isn’t your equal in any way and will never be.

Until I learnt how to write out my plan and continuously check out my progress, it was easy to compare myself with other people’s progress.

This simple exercise will infuse in you the habit of gratitude and likeness to who you are. It will help you to be aware that you are ahead of where you used to be in the past. You will realize that you have leaped over several challenges and on your way to more victory.

2. Appreciate other people genuinely

Rather than get negatively jealous over people’s achievement, celebrate with them. Look at the beautiful side of their life and shout it loud in their ears.

It is easier to find out the wrong thing in people, how they hurt us, how they never fulfill their promise, how they didn’t visit or call us.

It is hard to see the goodness in people without a conscious mindset shift.

Say to people genuinely how beautiful they are, how excellent their work is, how interesting it is to speak to them. In fact, you can easily do that over a telephone chat.

3. Take comparing as an Illusion

Whenever I wanted to feel good about what I have, it is easy to say ‘Oh, I have a better shoe than this guy’, a few minutes to that time, I will find someone else’s shoe far better than mine. Then, it will trash my self-esteem really badly.

Our basis of measure is usually subjective and thus not very accurate. Others’ perspective about measure is always different from ours. Don’t kill yourself what others can’t see. Be content with the beauty in your life.

4. You Aren’t 1 in a Billion

Elementary science confirms that a male sperm and a female egg make the baby. No exactly!

Another level of thought that will help you is to be aware that you are not 1 in 1000000, but you are 1 in a limitless generation. Ah… think about that often.

Hey fash, it is so hard not to compare, there is a wire in my brain that won’t just stop doing it and after all, there is competition everywhere. Friend, in reality, it is about your mindset. #Think2Riches.

In the comment box below, what have you tried that worked?

Do you think there might be some positive and juicy thing about comparing yourself with others? Go ahead, write it in the comment box.

Photo Credits: PersonalExcellence.co